Peer pressure is an incredibly challenging thing that almost all young people will experience at one time or another in their lives—especially as young Christians or those who are on their way toward becoming true Christians. Even adults have to face peer pressure. The problem with peer pressure is that people want to fit in. They want others to like them and are at times willing to change their conviction in order to gain the approval of those around them. 

The Bible makes very good points about peer pressure and shows good examples of how to deal with these pressures.

It takes a solid understanding of what one believes, and to act toward that understanding to deal with and counter peer pressure. It should be noted that not all peer pressure is bad, and it can be useful to encounter peer pressure of both types to learn how to deal with each kind. 

Peer pressure really starts for early teens when they are trying to understand the world more and as they start to experience and gain more independence from their parents. And it continues through life to varying degrees. 

Peer pressure in and of itself is not a bad thing. Peer pressure can be positive or negative. There is a coach for teens whom I follow on Instagram and he is constantly posting that one of the most crucial things for teens is to choose their friend group – because it has a direct impact on the types of things each individual or the group are going to be influenced to do. 

Bad peer pressure can come about because of the type of people one associates with. 

Two quotes come to mind in this regard. 

• “Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”  Booker T. Washington
• And a very famous one, with the origin unknown, is: “You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose carefully.”

When it comes to choosing with whom we make friends, it is essential to look at the qualities they bring to the table. Good people challenge one to also do and be good. A bad friendship causes one to veer off into areas that are not good. 

Here is a quick list of Scriptures that talk about good friendships and what they provide:

“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26).

“A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself; The simple pass on and are punished” (Proverbs 27:12)

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20).

“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful… Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel” (Proverbs 27:6, 9).

“Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

The Bible also gives us advice on the types of “friends” whom we should avoid so we don’t have to deal with bad peer pressure:

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

“A violent man entices his neighbor, And leads him in a way that is not good” (Proverbs 16:29).

“Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul” (Proverbs 22:24-25).

“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful” (Psalms 1:1).

“I have not sat with idolatrous mortals, Nor will I go in with hypocrites. I have hated the assembly of evildoers, And will not sit with the wicked” (Psalm 26:4-5).

When considering with whom to make friends, we should realize that there may be times when we will have to stand up to them in order to keep doing what is right. It may come to the point where we have to distance or disassociate from people whom we once called friends because we choose to walk a different path. It can be challenging and hard to walk away from a group of friends; we may be called names and made fun of or worse, people can try and defame us or cause problems for us. 

Daniel and his friends, when they were young, were asked to eat what appears to have included unclean food. They decided not to do this as they were following their conviction. They had to ask the people over them to give them a trial – they would not eat the unclean food while everyone else did. At the end of the trial, they were found to be healthier than everyone else. Daniel 1:8-16 tells this story. Daniel “set his heart” not to eat the food. Daniel understands the situation, and decides, in his heart, based upon his knowledge of what is right and what is wrong, and chooses to do the right thing. Once set, Daniel would not be moved. Not to give in to bad peer pressure shows the proper type of attitude.

Later on in the book of Daniel, we again see bad peer pressure at play. This time, Daniel’s friends were being “snitched” upon by people who should have been their peers. It involved the king of Babylon and the desire of the king to be worshiped by all people. Daniel’s three friends knew better and chose not to, because they knew they should only worship God, obeying the first commandment. The story shows that they had the faith to stand up for what they believed in, even if it would have resulted in their death. This type of faith was a result of consistent actions throughout their lives. 

Further on in the book of Daniel, in chapter 6, we find when Daniel is praying that people take notice and are jealous. They attempt to trap Daniel, again using the King’s power. Yet Daniel never strays from God, never stops doing what he knows to be right, and never gives in to bad peer pressure. And in return, God powerfully protects him from the lions in the den. 

These three stories iterate the power of bad peer pressure and how evil can be used against God’s people – including young people. More importantly, it shows that God is the One in control and knows the situations that we face. When we include Him in our ways and show Him that we are willing to stand up for what is right, instead of bowing to the pressures of doing what others think is right or cool, He will provide the way of escape. He will give us the power and the strength we need. 

Taking this one step further, we could even pray to God and ask Him to provide friendships for us that are good and helpful. Knowing that we can come to God and ask Him in faith for things such as this is powerful and should be reassuring for us. 

Good peer pressure is having an influence on people’s lives. As Christians, we are told that we are to be the “lights” of the world (Matthew 5:14-16)—meaning, we are to be the ones standing out. Even children, teens and young adults can be lights. This can be very hard for young (and old) people who want to fit in with their peers. Peers are oftentimes thought of as friend groups, but peers can actually be anyone with a similar status, such as age groups or some attribute that is shared. Good pressure is in finding groups where we are drawn to accomplish useful things such as doing well in school, encouraging others, work ethic, being kind to people, choosing not to follow other’s wrong examples, having good clean fun, enjoying other’s company, or finding and keeping up with interesting hobbies. People’s behavior is always influencing others. If one can act with integrity and confidence in good ways, others will take notice and follow. 

Philippians 4:8 tells us: “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.”

Bad peer pressure isn’t hard to find. It is easy to fall into the traps of bad peer pressure. It will always be harder to swim against the current of popular culture and maintain that which is good. 

Bad peer pressure can involve many things such as using bad language, taking God’s Name in vain, including expressions such as “My God,” “My Gosh,” “Gee,” “O my Lord,” “My goodness,” cursing and swearing, lying, cheating, calling people names, bullying, harassing, using social media in mean and cruel ways, engaging in inappropriate and wrong activities, smoking, taking drugs, sex or sexting, encouraging others to do wrong things. 

When we engage in bad types of peer pressure, we lose confidence and respect for ourselves, and others can come to lose respect for us as well. God especially will be definitely saddened. When such activities are happening, it is often the case that it can feel scary and intimidating to say no when a wrong action has taken place and continues. 

It is important to realize that one should not engage in them in the first place. If the courage to say no is there at the outset, it will make the future easier. If you find yourself in the place where you are compromising with what you know to be right, then there are a few things to immediately do. Pray – pray to God for forgiveness as He is the only One with the power to forgive fully. Then ask God for the courage to stop and for help to figure out how to get out of the situation. God is always there and wants to help when you include Him. Next, talking to parents or a minister about your situation will help you to see the broader picture. When sin takes hold of you, it can be hard to see a way out, and it can narrow your field of view. The Bible refers to sin as a passing pleasure (Hebrews 11:25). Yes, sin can feel good! But the end is always misery and death, which may perhaps be hard to picture in the moment! 

Peer pressure will be something all young people will deal with. We cannot state strongly enough that God really cares. He knows what we go through. He observes. When we choose to include Him in our lives, actions and challenges, then we can expect help and make better choices and decisions. God is always just a prayer away! Start practicing and see what happens. See how He will help you. The only way to really know is to try and see how it will work out. 

Peer pressure will be a part of almost everyone’s life at some point in time. Understanding what it is should help us to see that a lot of it is about people being insecure and a desire for acceptance from all involved. But we don’t have to fit in with this world, and we are actually told that we shouldn’t fit in with it. Romans 12:2 tells us:

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

If people intimidate you, they are trying to manipulate you! It is very important that you make your own decisions and be the type of person to follow what God says, realizing that everything that He says is for our benefit and well-being. We must settle it in our hearts that we will not give in to peer pressure, no matter what we are facing. If we allow others to decide what we do and how we will behave, we lose our sovereignty. We have the right to our own thoughts. We have the right to choose not to follow what everyone else is doing. If we give that away, it plays right into Satan’s hands, with him seeking how we can fail. When we don’t stand up for what is right, we are in essence standing with those who are doing wrong, as it says in Romans 1:32 “…who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.”  The previous verses also show in part what is going on in this world and how, with Satan’s influence growing stronger, people are given over to sin and will attempt to get us to follow suit. 

We will be able to overcome bad peer pressure when we realize it for what it is. Think carefully about the future and realize that many friends in early life will only be there for a brief time, while sometimes it can be a lifelong relationship. What really matters is good friendships and a strong relationship with those who truly love and care for your well-being—God, family and true and helpful friends. 

Lead Writer: Kalon Mitchell

It can seem bleak when it comes to the immediate future. Especially, when looking at it through the eyes of a young person growing up to become a Christian. With everything that is happening in the world at this time, how can a young person have hope for their future? Is it worth growing up and trying to accomplish things in this life?  

The definition of hope is “to trust in, wait for, look for, or desire something or someone; or to expect something beneficial in the future.” Viewing hope through the eyes of a young person is not something that comes easily. It is, however, something that is learned and which needs to grow. God will protect and help design the lives of the youth, giving them hope and encouragement throughout their lives. 

When we are young, it can be hard to see the future. Everything seems to be in the “here and now.” In an age of immediate gratification, it is challenging to sow seeds for the future. But these formative years as a young person are quite important. 

The book of Proverbs, being very informative, gives young people useful knowledge to live by. One of the best things one can do as a young person is to learn how to apply knowledge and understanding. Many young people in the world today are growing up without Godly knowledge, resulting in the breakdown and destruction of society. Notice, we are told in Proverbs 20:11: “Even a child is known by his deeds, Whether what he does is pure and right.” Today, most children are not worried about nor do they care about doing what is right; or we find most are doing whatever they feel is good. Society and social media continue to feed young children’s minds with thoughts of equality and gender neutralism with a picture of a “feel as you are” mentality.

While it is the parent’s duty to help educate children to understand the difference between right and wrong and to encourage them to do what is right, there is much more to say. 

One of the most important things to understand is that God has placed parents in young people’s lives for a reason. The 5th commandment, which is the first one mentioned after the first four which are directed towards God, is to honor our parents. Giving honor to parents is the first command that comes with a reward. By honoring our parents, God says we will receive a long life. 

How do you as a child honor your parents? Do you listen to what they have to say? Do you respect their wishes? Do you have good communication with them and do you not talk back? The list of questions could go on and on, but the idea is pretty simple—what do you do to show respect and honor? 

Going back to the promise of long life, this command is directed to children today! Long life will be theirs if they are willing to obey God. His commands come with built-in rewards. It is truly remarkable. 

God gives us hope for our futures—even for the future of young people! 

It is not wrong to think in terms of what one wants to do in the future. God gives everyone gifts in terms of talents (Romans 12:6)—what they are good at. Some people are good at math. Some people may be gifted at music or art. Not everyone is able to do the same things.

As you, as a young person,grow up, your talents and gifts will start to mature. This becomes important as you move on with your life. Including God in these matters and asking Him to show you the course of direction is extremely important. There are a few persons in the Bible who did this, and God led them through their lives (including Samuel, Daniel and his friends, Jeremiah, and Jesus Christ). Even Christ grew up learning how to be a carpenter. In our free booklet, “Do You Know the Jesus of the Bible?”, in chapter 9, it states that Christ was a carpenter or an architect. He didn’t just get this skill automatically and by chance. It took a lot of learning from His step-father Joseph, and He did work in this occupation until He started His public ministry. This is important to realize as you grow up. If there is a trade that interests you, you are going to have to spend time and effort in acquiring the skills to learn this trade. 

Recently, in a Youth Forum, Delayla Sperzel wrote about how a door was opened for her to have a part-time job. She rightly gave thanks to God for His hand in opening the door. Delayla had to take the initiative and do the work to get this job and to show up on time and to have a good attitude and strong work ethic, but God opened the door and gave favor to her in the eyes of her future boss. This is just one example of how God can operate in our lives. 

There is a large group of younger people today who feel lost and unsure. They are scared of all the uncertainty and are in desperate need of direction. It is easy to fall into this category. But this is not the type of attitude God wants young people (or anyone, for that matter) to have. In 2 Timothy 1:7, we find quite the opposite, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

When the lead writer of this Q&A was growing up, he remembers hearing messages from some ministers about the end of the world and how close it was, and he remembers overhearing adults around him being fearful. He remembers growing up and not having a purpose and wondering what he would do. Would Christ come back before he had a chance to grow up? Was the world going to end soon? What was the point of school, of education, finding something meaningful to do? 

Well, many years later, he looks back and realizes that this was the wrong attitude to take. Since then he has heard ministers in our Church say, and rightly so, that we need to live as if we have a lifetime ahead of us and yet be ready at all times for the return of Christ. As a young person, this means making plans for the future and spending time learning and being curious about how the world works, by asking questions. Having hope that you, as a young person, will accomplish the goals and the tasks you set your hand to. But at the same time, not to engage in foolish and ungodly conduct.

The early disciples tried to stop children from coming to Christ at times, and Christ rebuked them and had the little children come to Him. Mark 10:14-15 reads: “But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” The attitude of children is what Christ was observing—being humble and able to learn, being willing to listen to adults and showing respect. 

God clearly states that He knows us and our children, being called and sanctified in this lifetime, well before we are born (Psalm 139:15-16). God’s plan for each and every person has its time and place. Those whose parents are called as Christians now are in a special group of people. God will certainly work with those young people and encourage them, giving them the help they need and directing their lives as long as they depend on Him, respecting and building a proper relationship with Him. 

As a young person, the hope for your future begins now. It begins when you start to choose to learn about God’s ways—when you start including God in your thoughts and in your prayers. We are told that God is a rewarder of those who diligently—constantly—seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Building faith in God can begin at a young age. Converted parents have seen miracles that God has done for their children. God is constantly watching over them, as they also know that He has protected them multiple times so far.  

Psalm 108:13 tells us: “Through God we will do valiantly.” With God’s help, we will do mighty things. As children, it can feel challenging at times with situations they may go through, and it can feel like they don’t know what to do, say, think; especially, when it is a big trial, or challenge, or the test of their conviction. No matter what it is, God promises that if they take their request or challenge before Him and ask for help, for understanding or guidance, He will provide a solution or a door will open that they never considered.

The Bible is full of Scriptures showing us that when we are overwhelmed, we can turn to God and expect answers. 

The apostle Paul was encouraged to write the following in Romans 8:31: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Paul went through incredible challenges as he lived his life, and so for him to tell us this, we should feel encouraged. 

One of the very interesting things about God is His desire for us to try out His Way of Life. He tells us to tithe diligently, and then to watch and observe how He opens the doors and gives us blessings. The choice to do this, God leaves it up to everyone. 

The future of God’s Kingdom is ahead of us. God says He will protect and preserve our children. They will live in the Millennium and will continue to learn how to live righteously. We do not quite know in every little detail what the future will be like in the Millennium, but much has been revealed to us (compare our free booklet, “Biblical Prophecy—From Now Until Forever.”). We can be certain that there will be peace, no more wars [with two noteworthy exceptions at the beginning and the end of the Millennium] and plenty to do. The skills and experiences that are forming children now will be useful for their future. With all the previous destruction that happened before Christ’s return, there will be a lot of opportunities in the Millennium to help regenerate the earth and learn how to do things in a better way.

In all of this we should remember that God is the One Who is in control. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” A future and hope belong to our young people (and the old ones) who learn to rely and lean on God throughout their lives. 

Lead Writer: Kalon Mitchell